What do you do when you're brain dead but you want to blog? How about a little plagarism with a side order of sarcasm? I found this a while back and pulled it out of storage. If you've read them before, read them again. If they are new to you, enjoy the freshness.
Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?
GEORGE W BUSH -- We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either against us or for us. There is no middle ground here.
BILL CLINTON -- I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
RUSH LIMBAUGH -- I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet that somebody out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars. And when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took from you to build a road for chickens to cross.
MARTHA STEWART -- No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
JERRY FALWELL -- Because the chicken was gay---isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the 'other side'. That's what they call it … 'the other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too.
DR SEUSS -- Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
GRANDPA -- In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and we liked it.
BARBARA WALTERS -- Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.
CAPTAIN KIRK -- To boldly go where no chicken has ever gone before.
SIGMUND FREUD -- The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES -- We're working on a rollout of Chicken2009, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.
ALBERT EINSTEIN -- Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
THE BIBLE -- And God came down from heaven, and he said unto the chicken THOU SHALT CROSS THE ROAD. And the chicken didst cross the road, and there was much rejoicing.
THE LATE COLONEL SANDERS -- Did I miss one?
2 comments:
Cute - but you know what I thought? I thought, "I hope no one can characterize me in just a couple of sentences like this." We have such an ability to peg someone with just a few words - but we're all more multi-faceted than that... or are we... ???
SUMMER CAMP -- So we could freeze it, drill holes into it and bowl with it.
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