Medium, wherefore art thou?

I'm now wardrobe challenged.

Last night, I stopped for gas and dashed into BJs (not a usual place for garments, but I was there nonetheless.) I have managed to now look totally frumpy in the old pants one size too large, and it was time to find some pants that truly fit so Stacy and Clinton don't hunt me down and shoot me to take me out of my misery.

I'm truly astonished and pleased with myself to be able to claim "medium" as my size now for shirts and stuff, unless I'm going for comfort in a t-shirt or the like. However, as I perused the pants in my warehouse mecca, I became distraught.

There were no 34x32 to be found.

What?

I mean ... I'm guessing I'm now in one of the most proliferous pant sizes for American men, and after scouring through piles of pants, I think I found two. In navy. With pleats. Not going to work.

Which totally surprises me ... if you had asked me three years ago if I'd wear flat front pants, I would have laughed in your face and emphatically said "No." But I have learned ... flat is good.

So ... I silently huffed at my new dilemma of not being able to find one of the most common sizes of pants. Should I head to some of the feeding stations and plump back up so I could get back in some 36's. Ye jest ... I'll try not to go back there. Instead ...?

I went around the table and picked out a couple of medium dress shirts. Vertical stripes on one (very slimming, unless your lines bend outward in the middle of the shirt like a bell-shaped arc on a middle-school grading curve) and a surprisingly pleasant orange for the other. No, I'm not going Auburn on you.

God, I'm getting old. But I'm liking the averageness of medium. It's like driving in the middle lane of the interstate (which I so totally do.) Not too fast, not too slow. Just right. Call me a Goldilocks of all things mundane and boorish.

Much like this blog post, eh? Yah.

Whoa ... it's January?

Wow ... December just flew by. Not that it wasn't filled with activities overflowing ... it just went so fast.

NYC for the first time visit the first week. Awesome. Braved the cold to stand AROUND THE CORNER from the Rockefeller Christmas Tree Lighting ... at least I could see a big screen. And I can say that I was sorta there. Unfortunately, I heard the "F" word from folks around me to last a lifetime. Harry Connick, Jr. was on the screen. I heard, "Who the F--- is that? Is that Beyonce??" C'mon lady ... it's a graying white man. Do you honestly think it's Beyonce??

Mississippi for the DiRT Ministry trip the second week. Even more awesome than NYC. Sad, these folks are STILL not in homes over three years after Katrina. The folks whose house we worked on had been displaced 53 miles away, which the drove EVERY DAY to take their kids to school. But the celebration dinner with families that had been helped in the last 18 months by DiRT was incredibly uplifting, even though I didn't know any of them. And the drive down and back was a blast. I have a new appreciation addiction for The Office.

Third week brought Christmas celebrations left and right. We had 26 people in our home on the 19th, and it was truly a joy to have them all there. Veda's side of the family ... it was a feast, then a frenzy of Dirty Santa. Thank you Lord for the new addition on the house! Everyone had a seat ... all in the same room!

More Christmas ensued. I had to laugh when I truly listened to The Little Drummer Boy on the radio. "Mary nodded ..." Well of course she was nodding ... she was postpartum and probably lacking a little sleep from being in the stable. Could you imagine that today? I wouldn't be nodding ... I'd be out cold. Course, I'd be on network TV if I had just had a baby. Much less a Savior. Sheesh.

"The ox and lamb kept time ..." Vision of said animals standing on their hind legs, snapping their hooves to the beat as if they were in a jazz club. I laughed out loud. Twice.

Christmas Day hit. We were actually celebrating at home for a change. Santa. Jesus' birthday. What a day!

More family Christmas at the senior Bush household as we drove over to the Athens area to celebrate with my family the weekend after Christmas.

New Year's Eve was celebrated with our dear friends, the Meeks. Food. Fireworks. I was glad I wasn't standing in Times Square. Hearing the "F" word. And I don't mean "freezing."

And now here we are ... facing 2009 with excitement, uncertainty, but full of faith that we are in Good Hands. Here's to you ... all of you out there in blogdom ... for a prosperous and blessed 2009, wherever you are. Cheers!

I Need Your Help, Please!

Dear family, friends, bloggers, and strangers alike …

Happy Holidays to every one of you! You may be reading this message through Facebook and/or through my blog … if you encounter it twice, consider it a bonus!

Strengths and weaknesses … we all have them. I can identify two weaknesses for me when I was growing up:

1. I was not a salesman. Candles, candy, cookies, sunglasses, more candles, atlases … no matter what the fundraiser was, I stunk at it. If I didn’t want to buy it, why would someone else? Door-to-door was the worst. (Thanks to all my extended family and neighbors who were nice enough to not to crush my spirit and ended up purchasing “stuff.”)

2. I was not one to ask people for help. Potential conflict or rejection was not something I looked for, so I was not one to impose or interrupt someone for help unless it was pretty urgent. I found it easier to try and do what I could on my own. (Note to self: bad idea.)

Well, fortunately, I’ve somewhat grown out of these weaknesses, as I’m about to tackle both of them with this message.

In a nutshell, I need your help to do something very special this holiday season. The ask? Prayer. And a donation.

(There … that wasn’t so bad for me. You still with me? Good.) And now … the rest of the story. Please read all of it … it will truly give you reason to be thankful this season.

Three years ago this past August, Hurricane Katrina took a direct path over the coastal town of Bay St. Louis, Mississippi. It was one of the deadliest and most costly hurricanes to hit the United States. Over 90% of structures up to a half a mile inland were severely damaged or totally destroyed. Winds were sustained at 120 mph, and the storm surge of 27 feet pushed inland up to 12 miles. In Mississippi alone, 238 were dead, 67 missing and damage totaled billions of dollars.

So you would think after three years, things would be better. The current facts are unfortunately very sombering.

• Nearly 300 families in Mississippi are being returned to hotels from mobile homes as FEMA moves to close the last of its emergency housing sites in the state.
  
• FEMA has announced a March 1 cutoff date for all temporary housing payments.


• Across the Gulf Coast, there are still at least 9,300 families in trailers and 1,600 in hotel rooms.
  
• About 3,200 FEMA travel trailers and mobile homes remain in use in Mississippi.
  
• Hundreds of federally-issued trailers and mobile homes have been identified as having high levels of toxins, including formaldehyde.
  
• There are an estimated 30,000 children living in trailers and temporary housing in the region. A Children's Health Fund study released this month reveals that the “Katrina children” are the sickest children in the U.S., with iron-deficiency anemia, upper respiratory infections, skin ailments, and behavior or learning problems.
  
• Many of these kids are going to spend their FOURTH Christmas in a place that is not their home.
  

So … how can you help?

On December 10th, I’ll be leaving with a team from Wildwood Baptist Church on a “rebuild three-day” to continue ongoing work to get people back in their homes for the holidays. The DiRT Ministry takes these trips a number of times a year, and the need for assistance is overwhelming.

But not insurmountable with your help!

Priority Ask #1 … PRAY. Pray for these victims of this natural disaster, that they don’t feel forgotten. Pray for our team as we minister to their physical and spiritual needs. If you’re not one to pray … give it a shot. While I am excited about the prospects of this trip, my heart grows heavier as I read more about the situation and consider the plight of the families still trying to put their lives back together after three long years. When I imagine what Thanksgiving and Christmas must be like for these children, my throat closes up, I have a hard time focusing on what I’m doing, and I wrestle with myself as to why I haven’t done something sooner.

Priority Ask #2 … DONATE. Please consider a donation to the DiRT Ministry to help offset the costs for travel and supplies for this trip, to cover past expenses from recent trips, and to establish a legacy for trips in the future. We all understand how much tighter the times are with the economy as it is, but think about how much more troubling it is for those who are already desperate for help. Perhaps you can bypass that cup of Starbucks. Or a fast-food meal. Maybe you save so much during Black Friday that you can give just a little back. This is one of those moments in time where an army of friends giving a little from the individual perspective will result in a fantastic outcome.

Giving is easy … play “DiRTopoly!” This online gameboard has streets listed where DiRT has served families in the past 18 months, or various other Bay St. Louis streets, landmarks or utilities. Go to http://www.w2ps.com/dirt/board.htm and roll your mouse over the various properties to see their value. Then click on the property to purchase it … which will be your tax-deductible donation of that amount to the DiRT Ministry. If you prefer, you can select Chance or Community Chest and designate a specific amount to give.

The link above is directly to the board, and it is also accessible from the http://www.dirtministry.com/ website, where you can see photos and videos about this ministry. You can use a credit card to make these donations, or a registered PayPal account. And if you wish to specifically direct your donation to scholarships (for travel expenses), tooling or materials, there is a field to make that known to the DiRT Coordinator.

Make a gift in someone’s honor … what a cool Christmas gift THAT can be! (On a side note, visit http://www.adventconspiracy.org/ for one of THE coolest videos I’ve seen this season. But not until you’ve made your donation to DiRT!)

If you prefer to make a donation by check, make it out to Wildwood Baptist Church and mail it to them at 4801 Wade Green Road, Acworth, GA 30102 and put “Mississippi Missions Fund” in the memo line. Or you can give it to me and I’ll get it to them. Please do not write my name on the check, but if you donate via this route and you mail it, please let me know via a blog comment or Facebook or email so I can thank you! At the very least, please let me know that you’ll consider praying for us December 10th through the 13th. Or more!

Still here? Wow, thanks … we made it together! Sorry if it got long … but there was plenty to tell and I didn’t want to leave out anything. Again, I hope that you and your family and friends experience all the blessings of the upcoming holiday season, and here’s to a very prosperous and healthy 2009! Thank you for your considerations of this effort.

All the best,
Chip

Fifteenth Bank?

OK ... we were driving home from a wedding in Toccoa (second weekend wedding in a row for us, with both young children as the flower girl and ring "bear," and the eldest child as a bridesmaid in today's wedding.) But I digress from the topic at hand.

There was a billboard in Gwinnett County on I-85 that left me in a more discombobulated state than I already was. It was an advertisement for a bank. Now we all have heard of banks like "First National Bank" or "First State Bank," much like we hear of First Baptist Church or even Second Baptist Church (did they lose a race or something?)

But this bank ... it's way down the line in the standings. Fifth Third Bank.

What what?

I blinked and rubbed my eyes to be sure I was reading it right. Yep, Fifth Third Bank.

Are they serious?

Well, it demanded some research. There had to be a logical reason to make your bank sound like an odd fraction or a cryptic rendition of "Fifteenth Bank."

Let's start at their website ... http://www.53.com ... I'll give them credit. That's easy to remember. OK, let's find their history under About Us. Goes back to 1858 as Bank of the Ohio Valley. Nothing weird about that. Then Third National picked it up in 1871. And in the turn of the century, the Thirds wanted to fraternize with the Fifths, and so they did. (The Fifths never forgave the Thirds for cutting in line at the bank charter store.)

Anyhoo ... fancy the thought that on this weekend wedding, I'd encounter a bank with a funny name that was the product of a wedding of their own. Fifth National and Third National (kissing cousins?) became Fifth Third.

And the rest is history. I think I still prefer my bank, which was a merger of Sun Bank and Trust Company (yes, you know who). It's much easier to say. You try to say Fifth Third three times fast and see what you come up with. Don't blend those "TH"s ... enunciate, enunciate, enunciate. Fifthird is not what we're talking here. They've worked hard for that name.

Can a zoo be sexy?

Just when you think you've seen it all ... something trumps it.

I was driving down (or up, depending on your orientation) Barrett Parkway the other day and was passed by a van or truck sporting an advertisement for the Atlanta Zoo.

This particular ad was sensationalizing the most unique and/or bizarre animal that you would ever see. (And strangely enough, an image of it was on the ad itself, making it somewhat anti-climatic in that you could see it vs. having to drive downtown to the zoo to catch a glimpse.)

The animal? NAKED MOLE RAT

Now ... here's where I started scratching my head and thinking that a blog entry was on it's way. I have two points.

1. The marketing firm for the Zoo really didn't have to use the word "naked" in this ad, now did they? So why? Because ... it gets your attention. I mean ... think about it. If you thought you could get a glimpse at a mole rat, you'd probably yawn and consider trimming your toenails as more exciting. But a NAKED mole rat? Well, that's a different story. Get's all sorts of thoughts going, probably more so for the guys than the girls. Wiring, it is. But even so, the second point also deserves your scrutiny ...
   
   
2. Aren't all animals naked? Do you really see animals in the zoo clothed? Sheesh ... they wouldn't look very natural in a frock or pantaloons, now would they? So basically ... when you visit the zoo, aren't you seeing a NAKED elephant, a NAKED zebra, a NAKED snake, and those delightful NAKED pink flamingos? Why, if the marketing folks could get that wrapped up on the back of a vehicle, ticket sales would jump through the roof. Even by folks who have been to the zoo and know good and well that they aren't going to see anything different!! Am I right?? Then the zoo could work out a deal with The Varsity to sell Naked Dogs, right there on the spot. (Now that's a draw.)
   

But let me clear ... that naked mole rat was an ugly little guy. Kinda like Perry the Platypus from Phineas and Ferb. (Sorry ... Disney Channel lingity there ...) Not a pretty sight. Hairless and buckteeth.

I'd pay more to see him in a pinstripe suit, frankly. 'Cuz I've already seen the dude NAKED rolling down Barrett Parkway. Helloooo marketing people ... leave something to the imagination next time, OK? Geezes.

And a sidenote regarding The Varsity ... when I was in college at UGA, I was driving through at the greasy V there in Athens. At the board, you were supposed to order using their terms. I wanted a hot dog with ketchup and an orange drink. So what did I have to proclaim as my culinary desire that steamy Georgia afternoon?

"I need a red dog and a big squirt."

Felt a little dirty as I heard it repeated back to me. But it ate well.

Nope, nothing quirky to see here

AJ Macc tells me that I'm a blogger that she reads. Bless her soul.

And in one of her last blogs, she tagged me for six quirky things. Do I look like someone who would have even one or two quirks?

Don't answer that. Allow me to self-quirk myself. Here we go.

1. I have recently discovered a quirk that apparently I share with my mother (genetic, me thinks.) One of the most comfortable spots is to be laying/lying on the sofa with my right foot wedged in between the cushion and the back of the sofa. No, I can't tell you why. I wasn't tagged to explain my quirks. Just list them.
   
   
2. I cannot sit in a room with a crooked picture. My insides sit there shouting, "People! Can't you see that??? Dear God, will someone tip that frame just a little to the left so we can continue our conversation??? Aggghhhh!" Depending on the event and how well I know the host or hostess, I have been known to apologize politely and step over to straighten it, or just wait until they are gone and get it in order. They can thank me later. And I have been thanked by other members in the room who were having silent shouting matches with their insides as well.
   
   
3. I've been told that I have perfect pitch. I don't know how quirky that is, but it has come in handy in years past. In order to hear a pitch, I demand silence, or I have to step away so I can hear it in my mind. OK, so that may be more freaky than quirky ... I can literally "hear" stuff in my mind. It used to drive my friends crazy. They would start singing a song, but they would be like three or four keys off. I'd say, "No, that's not it. Listen." And I would start singing it as if it were on the radio. And then I'd be called a name. And the singing would stop.
   
   
4. If I had my way (and perhaps I will someday), there would not be any dry goods packaging in our pantry. All those jumbled boxes and sizes, usually taking up more space than the product inside! Everything would be in something like Tupperware. Perhaps labeled. And maybe alphabetized. And all the spices would be in the same type of shaker. And they would definitely be alphabetized.
   
   
5. I love to cook when I'm on vacation. I look for condos or houses with a kitchen, and I love to hit the grocery stores and buy up stuff to get set up and fix meals for our family. When I was younger, I wanted to be a travel agent, so I love finding places to go and planning trips.
   
   
6. I call Veda every single day before I leave work to let her know I'm on the way, and to see if she needs anything. Every single day. Is that quirky?

OK, I won't tag anyone else because I'm getting sleepy, but for those of you who are just itching to post their six quirks (to confirm what we already know), do so and we'll enjoy reading them!

Yearbook Yourself

This is a fun site.

http://www.yearbookyourself.com/

And here are some of my results:

http://www.new.facebook.com/album.php?aid=31182&l=6f078&id=501269310

Try it out! If you make some, and you're on Facebook, post your pics into a new album and post your public link in the comments.